My dream is passe

A young friend of mine has been asking me for advice about being a chef which I dish out enthusiastically as it is my ambition recently. The more I dug and dished(http://www.globalchefs.com/career/faqs/faqsCurrent.htm), the more confirmed I am that my chef dream is passe. A person who starts out in his teens would be a chef by my age. The commitments needed to make it clashes with my family planning and needs now. Back to my friend. He keeps thinking of earning big bucks but I told him there is no short cut. He might as well try to strike lottery if he wants the short cut. Entry level is a must even if one graduated from a reputed cooking school. I wish I knew my forte when I was young. I wish I had not so many choices then. Looking at the baby poster hung near me, I cannot help but think, would one of my children want to be a chef? Help mum to fulfill her dream 'cos she gave it all up for you. But somewhere read this line, "have unconditional love for your children".

it's a miss

Oh! It's the first try but a miss and normal period is coming. Sad but hope for next month and the pregnancy game continues. When to do it again is a critical decision now unlike in the past!! Maybe God has better plans for the next one. Have to start using the thermometer this weekend.
A friend who is always having problems with guys and paying for their debts never fails to amaze me how she always has the money to pay for them. Jokingly, I told her that should she feel like throwing her money. let me know 'cos I got tons of things to buy in Tokyo! Some women tend to attract the loser guys. It reflects level of self-esteem? Sigh.
Praying again that another case will be closed soon. It's going to be a quiet Dec with no plans for celebration of any form. Maybe I should create something special for him rather than having him planning usually. He must be sick of doing so.

GH

It's something unspoken that I share with GH. Everybody gets some shit out of life so same for both of us. I know how he feels and how unfair that he is thrown into it. He understands my imperfection too and guess that's what ties us close in brotherly/sisterly care. We will keep a look out for each other, this I know. In fact, I will not let GK bully him. Glad that he likes the CDs that I had got him. It's hard to buy him things as he does not request.

A child has a special way of adding joy in every single day

16, 17, 20 ...could it be the day of conception? I feel something different with my body. I get tired easily, short of breath, like to drink milk, slight spotting, unusual movements in my lower abdomen but no morning sickness. The next period is a huge clue. It is too early to use the pregnancy test kit so I got to wait in anticipation. It's so different from last year when we were absolutely not ready for babies. Now, I wish for 3 or 4. Have been reading up on pregnancy sites and journals. Telling hubby about how my stomach feels. We are all excited. If really conceived, this baby will be a Cancerian, due date on 7 or 8 July 2005. Gender still unknown, oh! can't wait to know but at least another 4 months down the road. Now I can understand the feelings of mothers-to-be especially those in for the first time like me. Oh! what a disappointment if it turns out not to be. pray, pray..please let me be pregnant (,,) Pray that I am on a 30 day cycle. Our baby will bring such joy to our parents. Their long awaited internal grandson/grand-daughter from their most loved son.

Desire to be a mummy

My parent-in-laws came. We had a great time in Minakami, Gunma Prefecture enjoying mountain view, onsen and apple-picking. I felt closer to mum-in-law after this visit. With her assurance, my desire to be a mummy increased tremendously. In fact, I cannot wait to use the pregnancy test!

Their arrival seems to have brought lots of luck for GK too. New projects poured in so he is assured of business when he goes back :-)

Mother-in-law expressed her wish for us to stay in Singapore in future. She wants us to be near her. Think timing is just
right after 1 yr 4 mths later. She hopes I will concentrate on being a housewife.

Good things

Very happy that one case has been closed after much apprehension. Today will be another. Please let it come true. Typhoon 23 is here and is said to be the biggest of the year so far. The weather remains rainy till 24th, the day of apple picking. In-laws will be here tomorrow. We will be busy for the next few days. The necessary arrangements have already been made.

Honey went to work especially early this morning to meet his candidate. I have to exercise and work hard on my level 2 Japanese. I am lucky that I need not to go to school as the journey in rain is a dread and more so when winter comes.

The 2nd awaited case was closed finally. Jubilee (^.^), prayed hard for this. Atami, Atami, there is a potential trip in Nov there as someone offered to show us around there - good thing:D

Today is a really great day. I am so happy and I know honey is elated too. He has got another project so will be busy even next morning when parents come. I will do my part in fetching them to the hotel by myself. Make sure they have a good lunch as well. I know where to bring them - the Chinese restaurant in Tokyo Dome.

I feel very pacified now :D

10 km run

Finished 10km run today in 56 mins. Many people joined the marathon today. Honey completed it in 41 mins. I really have to train much harder for the 20km run the week after next! But I am really pleased that I managed to complete it without stopping.

Tonight, we are trying the newly opened sushi store opposite our house. It is costlier but we will give it a shot :D

I attended the bazaar as well. Did not buy much this time but got a reasonably good CD, good cups and a Pooh bear.

usual journey

GK spent a lot of time planning for his parents' trip. It will be a wonderful and memorable for them as the expensive hotels have been booked. I am enjoying my peace now at home and like time to pass like that.
Mac asked me about his career choice. I have been through that route. Just that mine was smoother and I had put in more effort. Now I conclude something. It's not what you do but how good you are at it at the end of the day that calls for success.
I am trying to do well as a housewife but there is still lots of room for improvement. Being a mother is my role at this point of my life.

SPYs

Little did we expect to see so many PYs in this trip back to SG (8 to 11 Oct). We really gave them a surprise too. Some had got promoted and I get to know that I would be a Cpt if I had stayed. However, many of the ladies do not seem happy with what they have. Hope they will find their happiness, maybe they have too high hopes. I knew I had made the right choice to have married and to be in Japan.

Still surprised by GH's buy as there is no pressing need. He may want to experience independence. With no one staying with parents now, seems inappropriate that we are so far away. But we are happy with our lifestyles here. GK admitted to enjoying quality of life better as there are so much more nature and range of products. We can always build a 3 storey house in inaka area. Oh! I am so excited by the idea. But I have to console my parents.
Especially dad. He will be very sad. I can feel he needs me much. Actually, GK's parents too. So torn apart.

Ah ma and pa are in Tokyo Disneyland now. They will be going to Osaka and Hokkaido before we fetch them from Haneda Airport. I will be fetching them to check in a hotel in Sugamo, walk around there and then have dinner in Tofuro with GK in the evening. Thu will see us heading for Gunma to see autumn leaves and onsen on Fri. Sat will be picking apples and then head back to Tokyo.

8 Oct to 11 Oct SG trip

Typhoon 22 came on 9 Oct, Sat in Tokyo. Lucky thing that we were away in SG.

The miraculous timing was the most unexpected part of this SG trip. Nippon Maru was in town and we met many PYs in Blue Oasis. Mac was probably the. one who had suggested them to meet there as he could not get away from work. Unexpectedly, he had tendered his resignation on 5 Oct which really surprised us as business had just barely begun. Persistence is lacking?

Everyone looks much the same except for Ronald who had aged considerably. Guliko, Yuko Nagayama and Miles were present too.
Another unexpected news came from Cindy who is tired of teaching in the same school and hopes to further studies or go into early childhood education. Introduced Yvonne and Dorothy to her for advice. Hopes she picks up from there.

Guan Hao bought a 4 room Hougang flat sponsored by his dad for $270,000. Look forward to visit his flat on our next trip back next year. He is very happy with his new independence:D Kary and Sharon are not aware of the buy as mum has not talked to them for 2 weeks. Guess she is excited for GH too. Oh! I promise to buy Ayumi CDs for him. Anyway, dad and mum are both flying to Japan tomorrow and we will see them soon on 20 Oct. Shall pass the CDs to them to pass to GH.

Patrick is just as irritable to dad. It's been so for decades. Pigs and tigers don't get along. Live and let live.

Jonathan mails me photos of Albert's baby, Jeron and rest. Great that they are happy with their baby boys. Coincidentally, all boys.

I am happy too with my marriage and lifestyle now:D

Our choices

Our decision to come to Tokyo. Our decision to stay or go. All our choices have an impact on the next generation. We like our lifestyle now. Somehow, we were never so happy back in Sg. I doubt I want to go back if given a choice. There are so many things to be engage in, things of quality. We will decide together when the time comes. The verdict is yet to be seen. I am enjoying every minute right now, that's what matters.

Parents will see for themselves when they come how we live our lives here in Oct.

Meantime, I have to work on my test in Dec.

Monday talk

It's no easy task narrowing gaps between own family and hubby and vice versa. When you marry, you marry his entire family and vice versa. Surprisingly, I feel at ease with my own family without him around. I don't know if my family feels that, well see on this trip back.

I am impressed with the senmon gakko but not with myself. Doubting if I can meet its high standards. All notes have to be self-taken in Japanese. My command of the language has to be strong. That would have to come with at least another year of study. Then 2 years of training would mean another 3 years here in Tokyo. When are we going back? This question seems to have an elusive answer which even GK has no reply. Deep inside, we both love here.

Company is dishing out better employee benefits such as free dental care and housing subsidy with targets to be met. Well, at least something tangible. It's long overdue for the Japan staff.

Oct is enjoyable as parents will be here and we will be off to Nagano for a short trip at least.

Beauty is power and it's crucial for me to keep exercising and stay groomed.